About Key

How It Started

31 years ago a legend was born – although he was born a little too early and ended up not breathing, because who needs oxygen anyway? :/

I think I was 26 weeks when I decided to make an unexpected appearance, as you can see from below I was tiny and the picture was obviously taken with a “just in case he doesn’t make it” mindset:

Against all the odds I’m here and – in a nut shell – I walk funny, of course it goes deeper than that with the physical and mental affects but it could be worse, right?

Technically I’m a spastic – officially I think my condition is called Spastic Diplegia – I’ll need to check my medical records on that one, in laymen terms I walk like Honda’s ASIMO robot, bounce off a lot of things and fall over a lot. Fun fact: I couldn’t walk until I was 3 as my spine was jelly, I use to roll everywhere which must’ve been fun to see.

Day to day society makes me feel an inconvenience, where I observe people either staring out of ignorance or avoiding eye contact for fear of awkwardness, I worry endlessly about the future and going “off my legs” and always feel the odd one out BUT somehow I manage to put on a brave face to the point I’m the comedian in the room, the one making lots of effort just so I feel I can fit in, because that’s the kind of world we live in and being different is seemingly a curse?

My Inspiration

Growing up my mother raised me and my sister single-handedly whilst working two jobs to get by, she taught me to be strong and independent, she made me who I am today with the motto of “use it or lose it” and I was – and still am – ever so stubborn.

I can’t help but feel the strain of raising a disabled child with the extra care needed was the cause of her marriage breaking up and why me and my sister aren’t close, however I could never ask as an adult as sadly she passed away after in 2012 after a long battle with cancer – I was 19 years old and stupid back then so I never asked the questions or truly got to thank her for what she did but I like to think she knew, as for the unanswered questions? they will remain a mystery, for now at least.

My – joke of a – Father

On the surface he seemed alright, just look at him screaming from the roof tops for premature babies to not be unplugged:

In reality he use to beat me when I was being a naughty child – I couldn’t walk upstairs to my bedroom quick enough when I was told off so he use to drag me up the stairs and then launch me against the bedroom wall – cheers dad!

The Younger Years

When I was a youngen I didn’t really understand why I was constantly in and out of hospital, why people were staring and giggling, and I absolutely hated physio and generally ended up in denial about being “different” – because in this rat race of survival of the fittest, who wants to admit they stand out?

For example when I went to college I use to wear baggy tracksuit bottoms to cover up the constantly bend in my knees – it looked great until I started walking, then I wobbled about doing my cute little waddle and the cat was very much out the bag!

How It’s Going

Life could be worse – Apart from the daily struggles it’s alright!

I’ve almost bought my family home out right and I work from home which is great for the disability and work/life balance, plus I have two absolutely amazing cats – who were both rejects too!

I have two jobs – a usual 8.30-5 DevOp Infrastructure Engineer job and on the side I have my own IT company which is growing.

I’m doing much better than I ever have been – In 2019 I was sent to work from home due to being vulnerable, in the same month I exited an toxic relationship of 8 years so as you can imagine there was a lot of change – which I DO NOT cope with well – so I spent many hours feeling like I was going off the deep end.

Anyway because the support I had from doctors was genuinely terrible and my worries were only getting worse, in November 2023 I took a week off work to evaluate life – it’s at this point I started going to the gym and have regular private physio sessions – I’ll be sure to write about that at some point.

I also took to online dating and wow wasn’t that a roller coaster – I’ve lost count of the amount of girls I’ve started talking to, thought it could be something so told them about being “wonky” or “different”, some of the responses were actually funny but all ultimately ended up with me being forgotten about.

The best one I had ended up with me having to go to court and get a restraining order and a domestic violence marker on my house following months abuse calling me all sorts of childish nasty names – I’ll be sure to write about that at some point too.

Time wasters aside I have made one entire friend who has stuck around and – also has cerebral palsy – we’re getting on well and she has opened my eyes on some of my ways of thinking and some days gives me a much needed kick up the arse – Her blog is here,

Before I forget, obligatory cat selfie: